Man Rules - Home - humour

We always hear 'The Rules' from the female side, now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

  1. Men are not mind readers.

  2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

  3. Crying is BLACKMAIL.

  4. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work!, strong hints don't work!, obvious hints don't work! - just say it!

  5. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

  6. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it, that's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

  7. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

  8. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us and then get upset with the answer. Most men know this question to be a trap.

  9. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of them makes you angry/sad, We meant the other one.

  10. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

  11. Whenever possible, say whatever you have to say during the commercials.

  12. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

  13. All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.

  14. If we ask what's wrong, and you say 'Nothing' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

  15. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear..

  16. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine ... REALLY.

  17. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you want to discuss topics like football, motor sports or computer hardware.

  18. You have enough clothes.

  19. You have too many shoes.

  20. I am in shape. Round is a shape !

Thank you for reading this. I'll probably sleep on the couch tonight, but men don't really mind that because it's just like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh, because it's true !
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